Friday, April 25, 2008

shoot me

i was going to title this post, "i commit suicide", but my parents occasionally read my blog...first a little background, i have been trying to quit smoking since yesterday and i woke up early and the last couple of days i have spent all day watching the tape. as you can see i made a ton of trades, with well over $100 in commissions (which is another story altogether). basically, i suck when i watch the market all day. somehow, my judgement fades away and i buy and sell arbitrarily, hoping now it will go up or down. basically, time is my enemy. so, a combination of that and smoking jitters, caused today's disaster.

now, on to the disaster.

i got rid of my STLD calls at the open. good trade. i reshorted NFLX at a better price and sold for a small bump. good trade. i should have liquidated my entire position as the one i had bought yesterday, didn't seem to be working, but i didn't listen to my gut. then i FUCKED up big time and sorry to my readers there is no other way to put it. i started selling my BNI puts at good prices, but instead of putting 11.3 in the sell field, i put in 10.6, which was the lower portion of the spread and had stuck in my head. as soon and i mean microseconds after i clicked transmit i thought "Shit" and it was gone. u have to understand whoever i sold to made $400 instantly, absolutely no risk. well that blew my entire profit and handed me a $-100 loss on that position.

i decided to compound that error by buying Monsanto (MON) puts over the next hour and then praying for the rest of the afternoon that it go down. Did it go down ? Ofcourse not, i got to enjoy watching it go up. Why so strong ? People are starving man. Bounce play. God hates me. Pick your reason. Now i have a huge short position on a stock which is going strong and it's the weekend, meaning tons of bad news can come out. Like, all of Asia bans food exports. That would be the end of me. I also bought some NUE puts, because it was flying too high and if you are going to commit suicide you should go all out.
i am not kidding, almost everytime i have lost big it has been with a pattern like this. you only need to slip up once kids.

DO NOT WORRY, part of this pessimism is nicotine withdrawl. let's keep our fingers crossed and now to get drunk.