Friday, May 30, 2008

screwed up big time

i drank like crazy yesterday and did not wake up in the morning. given the amount of exposure i had that was just plain crazy, but i'm tired of trading and i just didn't give a damn. i've had a great time doing this full time, but it's clear to me that it's time has come and i need to get a full time job and do this on the side. i am pretty sure that i will be a much better trader, if i don't think about this the whole time. plus it will be nice to work with other people again.

anyhoo, i didn't wake up and paid a heavy price. i would have broken even on IBM in the morning. i would have made a small profit on BNI and could have closed my entire position in that stock. IBM is still within target range, but BNI ran up another 2 dollars. it's on a monster breakout and my position in it is definitely hurting. but, i have 3 more weeks and this stock can tank just as fast as it's run up. hopefully, oil will make another run above 130, which is likely, and the stock market will dive one more time (for me). but, overall i am not making profits and that is pissing me off. maybe it was just a tough week, but i haven't been able to tell where stocks are going. all rationale seems to be out of the door.

i am burnt out. i should have taken that vacation to Jamaica like i wanted to. i would have only spent 2K on it and i already lost more than that dicking around.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

too early

i started shorting BNI too ran up something huge today. i might break even on it, but if i had waited i could have made some serious money on it. i got rid of my HPQ position, just couldn't wait any longer for it to turn the corner. plus with the coming weekend...oops, in the case of HPQ there would have been very little premium to lose. in any case this dog has had his day and we need to invest in other venues.

i have been sloppy in trading lately. my heart has not been in it. don't know what to do.

maybe this weekend i will go somewhere. or nowhere.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

tough day

i was not on point today. i had a bad feeling about the IBM puts and should have sold them at the open for a .20 cent profit, but i was greedy and lost .80 cents on them each. Ouch !!! i went back to sleep after that fiasco and for the rest of the day kinda drifted around. i got rid of my NUE position, break even on 10 and small loss on other. I was debating whether to hold them, but NUE was up 2.4 and i didn't feel like tempting the gods. i bought some IBM puts and i feel fairly good about them, but IBM is busting out, so i have to be very careful with them.

i was jonesing for Coke all evening and then finally i went and got some. it was divine.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

slow day

i slept through most of the morning. i kept a lazy eye on the market thereafter and except for a feeling at one point that i should go long, which i didn't act on, due to cooking food and building my resume, i missed that brief opportunity. in the afternoon i watched tv and watched Oil fall. i am not sure it's done, but the buzz is for a downward trend. NEVER FIGHT THE TREND. i shorted IBM towards the end of the day for an overnight play.

i need beer. i love my family, but they stress me out. know what i mean.

Friday, May 23 post

i took the day off to hang out with the family. markets are closed on Monday, May 26th also. I checked in the afternoon and NUE was doing badly, due to the extra shares they just issued. the issue price was 74, which was good though. that's my break even point also. Friday's sell off was unusual IMHO. definitely oversold. i put in an offer to buy MER at 43, but it never got filled. it gapped to 44 on tuesday. sigh.

no pic as nothing was traded.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

friday-d-day and long weekend coming up

tumultous week. my long positions not doing so well, especially HPQ, but otherwise i am ok. i bought a bunch of calls on MER (merrill) and NUE (steel). first time in a while that i am buying on valuation. Mer at 44 is damn cheap and NUE at 74 is insane cheap. if they don't bump up on Friday, i might hold them till next week. my Oil short on USO went very well. I might become an Oil day trader yet. NYMEX here i come !!!

going out for a couple of beers. tomorrow is my Dad's graduation from Executive MBA program. Shout out to my 60 year old Dad for putting in the 2 years of work.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

i feel good

i woke up in a grumpy mood, because i didn't get much sleep last night and looking at the market i couldn't tell dinky donkey shit which way it was going to go or what to do. plus i didn't really care and so i sat there watching CNBC idiots. DRYS was going up nicely and my STLD puts, which i was afraid about, were within the strike zone of small loss. I said "what the hell" TM, put in sell orders for both for prices which i thought were reasonable and went back to sleep.

i get up at 1:30pm and both my orders are sold and at the BEST prices of the day. DRYS only went .50 cents higher from where i sold it and STLD's low of the day was where i sold and then it zoomed off in the opposite direction. I RULE !!!

sadly, my MER and HPQ calls are taking a beating. MER i am still optimistic about, but HPQ i think i will have to take a loss of 1-3K. thank GOD, i only went into earnings with 20 calls, i had 30 the day before. but, see that was good RISK management. YAY me !!!

over the afternoon my mood has improved and mostly i fooled around reading blogs and tormenting AAPL longs on the Yahoo message board. that's my favorite hangout to talk shit. I bought some NUE calls hoping for a bump and also shorted OIL, by buying puts on USO. Nue i had a chance to sell at close for decent profits, but a little birdy called GREED was chirping on my shoulders. oh well, i do have to pay my parking tickets somehow.

i need cigarettes. ran out last night. ate some indian candy for lunch.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

cousin works in bulk shipping business

why do i tell ? because DRYS fell, even on good earnings, taking some of my money with it. not yet but i think it will. good company though. that's why i never play earnings. market reaction is often very unpredicatable.

market tanked. i bought a bunch of calls and puts. sold most but holding to MER calls, STLD puts (yuck), HPQ calls (earnings were a disappointment, should have sold yesterday when it touched 48, i was thinking that too). i should trade less and waste more time screwing around. i trade better that way.

it's tuesday, one of my favorite days for drinking, but i feel bleh, because i messed up my sleep cycle. don't ask.

Monday, May 19, 2008

good start to new monthly cycle

the day went well. i took it easy in the morning and went to Murky's coffee shop. i proceeded to get 2 more parking tickets, despite getting the same two last week. damn that heartless parking bitch to hell. i know it's my fault, but cut me some slack fellow soul fucked human being. anyway i thought the market would go down and shorted BNI and RS. boy was i right. i sold RS too cheaply, but held BNI decently enough. market tanked big time. i bought some DRYS calls at the close. their earnings report was good and they are up after hours, but it's anybody's guess what will happen tomorrow.

coffee, my poor stomach. and now i pour some beer into it.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

horrible 2 weeks

i don't know what's up, either i have gone plumb crazy or i just got my ass handed to me. i lost about 18K in the last 2 weeks. a ton of it on my NUE puts and some on others. i did make a lot also, but i just feel that i did not follow my risk management schemes and i was all over the map. a month ago, i was such a risk adverse freak and then i made some money, and i am buying 40-50 puts on one position. it doesn't help that steel made such a strong rotational rally. i shorted NUE and it goes up big and stays up there, then i short RS and it goes up big and then i short STLD and it breaks out too. all three stocks in the sector, went up breakout big. should i have seen that coming? was it inexperience or stupidness or just plain bad luck that caused this fiasco?

i feel a little deflated. i will be on record mode, meaning double think/analyze all moves, till options expire in June. I need a longer term analysis of how i handle a month's worth of trading.

forgot to post on Friday. Saturday, went for coffee in beautiful weather, read a ton of interesting articles to satisfy my head, ate a cheeseburger at the East - West Grill, kabob joint but excellent fries, and now hopefully i will sit still to watch La Maman Et La Putain(1973).

Thursday, May 15, 2008

big day friday

i have a bunch of positions both long and short and they all EXPIRE on friday. ah, the magic of options !!! i made a nice profit on my STLD calls and then shorted it when it rose later. ok position, i started shorting too soon. i also shorted RS and BNI at the close. these positions are not so bad. plus, still holding my HPQ calls and they report after close...quick let me check....nope no earnings as you can see a lot hangs on the balance of one day. not the best situation, but i am starting to see that i am not as much of an accountant personality as i presumed...i am more like a maniac gambler...and they always meet a grisly end.

sigh!!! i did grocery shopping, pasta with vodka cream sauce, then some cola and now i am going out with a friend to some show :) la dolce vita (while it lasts).

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

drank too much last night

oy vey !!! the title says it all. i had a brutal hangover and couldn't get out of bed until 1pm. i really agonized over my stocks, especially my RS puts, but, i was in serious agony.

anyhoo, waking up in the afternoon turned out to be very good for me. for one HPQ leapt 2+ dollars and all of a sudden my may calls were near breaking even. wow what a reversal by the market. i lightened my position on HPQ to 20 may calls. depending on tomorrow's action, i might hold them till after hpq reports on thurs. close. the risk now is manageable. i made very good profit on the one's i had bought at yesterday's close (see trades)....i shorted IBM and played it very well. sold it right at the absolute bottom !!! i tried to get rid of my RS since it had retraced all the way back to 66...but just couldn't. i think it will shoot up tomorrow, but hopefully in the morning's choppiness i can get rid of it. i bought a ton of STLD, but i am kinda regretting it now. absolutely speaking 34.5 is not quite the price level to back the truck up. we shall see tomorrow. i am also tracking DRYS closely, earnings for it after thurs. close as's been on a tear.

i had dinner at my Uncle's house...yellow daal and rice...yummy home cooked Indian food. tummy satisfied.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

i need more fans

one of the day trader blogs i follow is, infact he is the inspiration for this blog. beanie has many good points and some bad ones. good is he posts recommendations and has a huge fan base, who all post fairly good recommnedations. bad is beanie rarely tell's of his losses and seems to make insane amounts of money. he also flips on his positions quite quickly and pumps stocks fairly often a la Cramer. but, overall he's a good guy. also, his "buy this stock" links are quite informative and rumor has it he feeds pain killers to his dog (see his avatar pic).

in comparison, my main good point is that you know exactly what i bought, when and how much for and ofcourse my profit/loss. bad is i post after the trading close and often ramble on.

today was an EMO day (note i skipped the tional, that's because i'm the real deal). i woke up and hpq went down $3 more...disaster...bni was showing strength and i couldn't tell if the market was gonna go up or down. i felt it was a gray day. i felt i should write off the morning and come back in the afternoon. but, first i got rid of BNI, i didn't even like it when i bought it yesterday. i got into bed and i couldn't sleep. i kept seeing my account balance. no more eating out. fking bread and water from now on. maybe i should get a job. activate my resume's. actually, two headhunters had just submitted me for jobs. i had flunked the java test for one of them. none of my references seemed to be alive.

but, from my bed the sky was clear and the rose i had stolen yesterday from somebody's garden was blooming. i said to murky coffee it is. murky had a good effect on me. maybe i was just people starved. but, seeing everyone there, girls and guys, cheered me up. i was ready to fight. i tracked HPQ and bam got some right at the bottom. but, mostly i screwed around and checked out the chicks. me so horny. it's the reality. fuck it, i'll scream it in this crowded murky room right now. prozac anyone. i liked the restraint i showed towards the end and very selectively bought some RS shorts, which is breaking out, but should be good for an overnight dip. also bought some more HPQ calls, because i think the bottom has been set. or so i hope, please GOD.

i had silver diner for so...i'm gonna go drinking tonight...4 days of rain somebody i know it's their birthday so that's like, you know, flick my blond hair, another reason :-)

Monday, May 12, 2008

why even bother blogging?

no one reads this crap. sigh! sorry it's been rainy and sucky for the past 4 days, since Sat. and i forgot to post on last Friday. why, you ask? because i got rid of my super sucky money losing NUE positions. man i took a hit and yes i was taught not to start sentences with because. i wonder if ending them with because is ok? in my desire for revolution, in the world of grammar and otherwise i may have inadvertently shook the foundations for my own inner peace. how tragic !!!

i lay in bed most of the morning, because it was raining and i had the blues. market was up when i got up. shorted ibm, but was uneasy, too much strength in that stock lately. big money could be getting in. i watched like a hawk and sold soon on a dip. it never broke 126, but still wise decision to sit and watch sometimes. i sold STLD for a nice profit. and then cnbc did a breaking news on HPQ (hewlett packard) buying EDS. i checked HPQ's quote and it was going downwards and i thought buy, because HPQ in the service sector through EDS is a pretty good move, plus good buy, plus hpq earnings later this week. i bought some June calls, to give me time for the bump. but, lo and behold HPQ kept screaming downwards and then i bought some short term calls....and it kept going lower....argh another disaster so soon....but i really believed in this i bought some more. thankfully, it held these levels. but, it was a $3+ dip on a stock which on average doesn't move more than $.50 cent a day. INSANE. my position is precarious, what with 40 short term calls, but i will watch like a hawk.

then i went and got a Gyro. I also got a kibbeh, which was so delicious.

Friday May 9 - missing post

i woke up on FRIDAY and the entire market was going down and Nue with it and since i didn't know how much down and my Nue position was so badly out of shape, i sold it at 79. i should have held out a little bit longer, because it went down to 77.12 and i should have been able to nibble atleast 60 cents more of that, which on 40 puts would have been 2,400...but i was super nervous and it was a big weight off my shoulders with that sell. rest of the sells were good, MER at the peak and IBM close to the trough. bought some STLD, because at 34 it's just insane. i love that stock. then i went to sleep.

as i slept, i thought about what i did wrong with Nue (ok actually later, as i was drinking). first of all my play was slightly bad. i entered at 76, when i should have waited for 78/79. at 78/79, i would not have lost so much money. 2nd, Nue did do an insane break. it just screamed upward for no reason, no other steel stocks following, just Nue going nuts by itself. sucks, but it happens. 3rd and most importantly, i just didn't know how to handle the risk. i am used to 10-20 puts, where even a $2 loss translates to $2-4K. i think when i saw the $5-10K loss (on 50 puts) my position was initially taking, my brain shut down and my heart was like NO NO NO...basically i gotta grow the balls for these kind of big positions.

i woke up and saw NUE had gone down even more. ofcourse i over analyzed that for the rest of the afternoon. cmon people it was a $16,000 loss over the course of 1 week. i'm good, but that hurt.

STLD had dipped down even more under 34 (wow, backup the truck :) , but it was at basically unchanged levels and i felt ok holding it over the weekend, since i was LIQUID other than that.

then i got drunk. really drunk.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

rainy day

i woke up and it was raining. i checked my Nue and Mer positions and they were sucking. I didn't feel like trading. I went back to sleep. In the afternoon, i wasn't quite in the mood either. i was watching the movie Tenacious D (not as bad as i would have thought) and bought some IBM puts. mixed feelings about those. i had a chance to sell the first lot for slight gains but the volatility spikes were so fast i missed all the chances. whatever.

im just going to starve myself today. penance for my greed.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

still hanging on to my loss

i am still hanging on to my 50 Nue puts, but i feel sad every time i look at them. patience Sunny. my theory about the rise being tied to Oil was dashed as Stld and RS, fellow companies are not tearing upwards. this could be a straight break out for the 80 level by Nucor. the company is still terrific, although steel is trading at record prices. who knows ? i'm going to hold through this week. man, the market goes down but this puppy is just not budging.

other than that, i just tore up the market today. sold my Stld and RS from yesterday. shorted IBM and took a nap. reshorted RS and almost shorted Nue, but i am scared of Nue at this point. it took a while for ibm to roll, but i got out of it at the perfect point. the RS paid off nicely too. i was a champione.

i like my new regime of wake up for the morning trades, then nap some more, run errands and then catch the last 2 hours of the market.
i already had Pho. perfect hangover food.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

argh, major loss on the way

i overleveraged myself by buying 50 puts on Nue at a bad price. my gut told me to hold till 77, but i bought at 76. it's at 79, right now. there will be a downside, but it probably won't blow below 77. it's gonna be very hard for me to wait and hold and pray for 76. my gut says, if i get 77, sell and take the 5K loss.

bought some Stld and RS puts. more steel you say ? i still strongly think they are at their peaks and will go down. Nue just happens to have greater visibility then these two.

i need beer. i just bought these yesterday and in one day i am ready to cry. that's options, folks.

Monday, May 5, 2008

didn't sleep last night

as the title alludes i didn't sleep at all last night. i was playing minesweeper and listening to music and the birds started to chirp and i thought let's just watch the sun come up. it was glorious. the traffic humming below and the golden rays of sunshine penetrated my room's windows. i watched some more youtube and then got ready to go to Murky coffee.

my trading software was very quirky and would not plot any graph's of the stocks. plus i was tired. i shorted and covered Aapl for a profit, but my main focus was DRYS. it had gapped upwards and i felt frustrated. why ? unfortunately, there is no single reason. the stock market is a collective hive, each bee with it's own reasons. i shorted some more. i also shorted Nue. Oil was up and people were doing commodity plays. you have to be counter trend. but, then sometimes you get played. i sold all my Drys shorts and was able to break even, especially after my .40 cent loss on expedia puts. i screwed up and bought Nue puts at low levels. with my experience should have known to buy at the close. now i have 50 puts. you do know that a .10 cent fluctuation at this price equates a profit / loss of $500 :)

i hate coffee. i had some pastrami and fancy french cheese, while watching the joggers on the trail below my apartment. bon nuit.

Friday, May 2, 2008

god saves my stupid ass

i had a large position and a bad feeling about it and as usual i couldn't sleep. i woke up at 7:30am, then tossed and turned till 8:30am...crap, the unemployment report was unusually good...argh...all futures are real bad news on the horizon...the rally from yesterday should continue...breakout levels......basically i was freaking the fuck out. i had 30 Aapl puts and 40 Bni puts. as i watched the tape into the open, i had a feeling it was not going to be so bad. trader's gut intuition. it just doesn't matter what the Cnbc idiots are saying or what anyone is saying, at the end of the day it's just you and the tape. you either FEEL IT or NOT.

well i had a feeling we were not going to go up much, but my positions were too risky and too big. aapl opens i watch for a little while and going with my gut liquidate all my positions. Loss. i watch Bni and it's weak from the start. i gauge and set a sell level. it comes close, then goes way opposite, i curse myself. patience. i am listening to drum n' bass music, jumping around, i look again, it blew all resistence levels and i am liquid. i left 30 cents on the table too and that's with a 40 put position. sigh ! adding it all up, it's not such a bad day. thank you GOD. did i doubt your existence ? never :)

happy but tired, i hit the sack, wake up at 3:40pm...argh...a quick look at everything and DRYS, which i had been tracking, looked really high. i hit it right at the top for some puts. good thing i slept till the end, otherwise i would have bought it more expensive. i love how this sleep thing works out sometimes. party till 4am, sleep in the afternoon, doable possible :) watching the tape afterwards, i think i should have doubled down. it's really extended on no real news, other than Oil.

it's frriddddayyy and now for some shots of chilled Belvedere vodka.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

shorted the rally

the first day of the new month and the market rallied strong. i thought there might be a dip towards the end so i shorted BNI and AAPL. I like the level for BNI although there is more upside. the problem is that i have been in bearish mode for too long and maybe this is a genuine market rally. and if it is a true rally then there can be multiple up day's, rather than the up and down that i have gotten used to playing. we will know tomorrow. Aapl in particular is of deep concern, this stock has very strong momentum and i wish i only had 20 puts not the 30 that i hold. it just did not break towards the end.
i have now been blogging for over a month. Yay me !
i need beer. but, first an arthouse flick to recharge my batteries.