ohhh man or i need my mommy day

PART 1

yesterday afternoon i had a bad feeling upon seeing the market action. it seemed very bearish, plus we were majorly overbought. my gut said if i am to buy, buy at close. i broke that rule, as you know, and bought AAPL midday. markets sank badly towards the end of the day.

instead of doing cool analysis at the end of the day...and i don't know what i was thinking....i very rashly went out and bought calls on BNI, RIMM and NUE. i used up all my money. one of my rules is never to use up all of your money. they were good buys, all at the bottom of the day...i figured worse case scenario i get a little bump and break even the next day.

unfortunately, after hours the markets kept on sinking. maybe the ECB / BOE would cut rates and that would jump start a rally. but, i had a bad bad feeling. there is a worse case than the worse case i'm thinking...but i'm trying really hard not to think too much !!

woke up at 8:30am after a restless night's sleep. the futures are all down...bad, bad and bad. please God I pray, a little bump and i'm out. we open low, rise a very little bit and then slam down. no please remember i couldn't even break even on my positions...we opened for all purposes atleast a $1 lower on all stocks...for a brief 3/4 minutes i could have sold at .5 - 1 losses...if i had just one position, but with 3 positions i panicked and said "how bad can it get".

well...we had another 500 point down day and except for brief moments it went down in a straight line. complete annihilation, especially BNI and RIMM.

well at 10am i didn't really know this...i still had hope and i really wanted coffee...so i throw on some clothes and drive to Murky, where i take a leisurely coffee break....what's the big deal...it will bounce back...look at the sky....look at the cars...a smoke...some music...finally i get the comp out...oh we are only 200 points down in a straight line....this is it...we will bounce back...more cigs, more cars, more shitty sky....look again...straight line down...i got another coffee...play towerz....don't think....peek...straight down....double cappucino...that's 3 shots dear....fuck....no food....i have so much coffee in my system i think i will explode if i even look at the girl by my side...avoid all human contact...peek at the dow...eeks...i'm a worthless piece of shit...chain smoke...nice sky..after all at the end of the day, when you have no money...there's always that fucking beautiful sky.

so everything is 6-8% down....all our hopes at this point lie on tomorrow's employment numbers being not so bad....bad will do, but it they are catastrophic bad...we are going down big time...and no magic wand is going to be saving my soon to be "shit house poor" TM ass this time.

PART 2

man i was so caffeineted...my brain mono lined, you know like when your heart stops...except my brain did that....it was going so fast...it didn't even know how fast it was going...anyway, i managed to get home and through some small glimmer of self persevation... i thought, NO!.... let's not get drunk, let's cook some food and i cooked the worst dish of pasta ever...because in between i started smoking cigarettes and re-planning the US financial system....and the noodles turned to soggy mush...over boiled the salmon (that's the only meat i had) into shriveled pink stuff....the only sauce i had was a can of crushed tomatoe's, been in the fridge for 2 weeks...it's not enough...add some water till everything's swimming....boil some more...it was a beauty....one bite and i threw it over the railing...creating a mini Gobi desert in the vegetation below...then i took a shit...and off i go to get drunk.

don't you wish you knew me.

and oh yeah! NO TRADES FOR TODAY.