anatomy of a meltdown

well i've done it again...gone from a Hero to a Zero !!!

here's how the meltdown happened. last week the much anticipated, at least by me, rally finally came. we made handsome profits on our BNI longs. we left a bunch on the table, because frankly i just don't follow trends too well. i jump around too much. also, because a lot of this rally is gov. meddling driven, not just fundamentals, and as such i really think it's getting to be over blown. anyhoo...

so on the first day of the rally, i went short GS. bad move. should have sold it the next day. didn't. shorted some more. should have sold that. didn't. end of the day i have a massive position in GS. looking at the charts it's looking bad. financials are rallying. i had some few chances to sell. take the hit, my head said. i couldn't pull the plug. net equity went from 38K to 32K to 26K...last chance, day trader status going underwater...didn't do it. it was horrible. my net equity went down to 18, then to 12K. i was so depressed. the weekend was one big bloodbath of drinking.

on monday i came to my senses. GS was supposed to report earnings on Tuesday. i thought they would be good. if good, i would have no money left, these puts would go to near zero. i'm not taking any chances. better to have something, rather than nothing. luckily, GS started going down Monday and i saw that it would continue going down for the rest of the day. i sold all of them around 4. not a bad sell...i was worried about any last minute jump ups.

the aftermath, they didn't report earnings. don't know why. no news on that. they went down just a little bit more the next day in the morning and then a massive reversal. i sold on monday and since then they have broken 100 conclusively. my puts would have been worthless. thank you GOD>, u saved my worthless ass.

PHEW !!!

the lord giveth...the lord taketh

it's funny but whenever i fuck up i start thinking about GOD> and i couldn't have fucked up any more royally than i did today. a.) i didn't collapse my GS short yesterday, even though it was running like a rocket in a screaming up market, b.) i didn't collapse it first thing this morning (actually i tried, but it ran up 2 ducks in 30 secs, it is near impossible to see or react to such runs...i could have collapsed it then, but i dreamt it would go lower at some point...dream me a river :), c.) i shorted GS some more at 10 am for a short short trade, then got distracted and didn't sell for a small profit and watched it run away some more...basically the story of the day...GS running away. fucker.

anyhoo, i scalped it a little in the middle of the day, but the rest of the day i was out of it. i had a GOLDEN chance to collapse my earlier 10 am trades for small losses. my scalps would have covered that. then i could have reshorted GS at much higher levels, cause i could see that it wasn't going to die today...costly mistake.

now, i can only hope that GS goes down to 90 at some point. or AIG could file for bankruptcy :))

to distract me i will watch a foreign movie tonight. or cry.

great day for bulls

it was a great day for bulls. the rally we had been waiting for the last week, finally arrived.

when i checked the futures in the morning and saw them up 100, i had a feeling we would get a killer day. mentally i set my BNI call sell levels for 53.5 / 54. unfortunately, i was in a meeting all day and that distracted me so, that i sold early. the people next to me must have been wondering what's with all the charts. i left at least 2 points on 4k shares = 8k down the drain and all i had to do was watch a fucking computer screen all day. it would have been that easy ;/.

i scalped GS for some cash in between, other than that, the meeting consumed me. it was one of those days where after the initial runup there is very little move to the up or down side. the day is mostly done. i shorted GS in the afternoon, when it was up around 14%. i could have collapsed the trade later, but got too greedy. later it ran away from me...so i am kinda worried. GS is fairly oversold and that fucker can move. i will sell it ASAP tomorrow on any weakness. oh, i also shorted X for a low volatility end of the day (EOD) play.

otherwise, it was a great day. great profits. some beers are in order :)

slow day

woke up late, had a hangover, since i am trying to quit smoking, so i didn't feel like trading, but i still kept on checking the charts / prices, because i am a pro. and finally around 3:20, i got a good feel for the market. unfortunately, it said go short, but the market was already down and i just wasn't feeling it. i wanted to go long, which i did on BNI. not the best entry price on the first buy, but i thought it might spike at the end of the day, which it didn't.

i am holding a very large position as you can see and i have butterflies in my stomach. i feel fairly confident, but the tape action has been pretty negative for some time now. too many people are expecting the short term pop. anyway, tomorrow's a new day. it sucks that i have an all day meeting. it's like every critical day, i have work related shit blocking me.

if i was as good at macking chicks as i am trading...

i would be FUCKING BRAD PITT !!!

look at my trades. serously, look at them ;-/

the sell on my BNI longs was put in the system the night before...i hit it on the head...only a differential of .25 from the absolute top....how awesome is that ?/

i got back to work and looked at my quote station and it was a sea of red....my heart sank...i looked at the BNI graph and saw that it had gapped up at open...feverishly, i checked my trades executed window...LA LA LALA !!

the market tanked the rest of the day. due to my massive profits on BNI, i am now once again a full fledged DAY TRADER. yay!

i bought some BNI longs in the afternoon and to test / flex my day trader muscles...i entered into a quasi irrational GS long. i made money on both and collapsed them both, since now that i am a DAY TRADER, i don't need to take the unnecessary risk of holding over weekends.

2 weeks to options expiration this month....get ready to kick ass...cue techno !!!!!!

jammin...but not so jammin'

like i said yesterday, my gut feeling was yelling long, but i was short BNI at the close of the day, with a bad strike price and not the best buy levels. so i was kind of sweating it yesterday night, but when i woke up this morning and checked my computer, surprise surprise, the futures were down quite a bit.

i wasn't sure why, but i didn't want to hold on to my shorts and sold them straight away at the open, although i didn't get the best open prices, but i mean BNI gapped down over $2...which is quite a lot and i thought don't be greedy. then i dressed up and zoomed to work.

i get to work and the whole market is tanking bad. GM is dead, which is the official excuse. but all traders knew that GM had been dead for a while. i don't know why, but the market went down hard and it stayed down hard all day. very little chop. just downward trajectory. i had a feeling we would retest the lows one more time, before we went higher and i think this day was it. should i have held on to my BNI's ? honestly, i didn't expect such a big day down on large volume and no big reversals of any kind. very surprising.

so, being the dolt that i am, i decided to go long. usually on such major drops i wait for the end of the day to enter...but, i broke the rule and bought BNI calls around 11 and then some more just a few minutes later (that's a big trader's no-no) and bought some more 2 hours later. basically, i used up my whole account to buy BNI calls. how do you spell BAD MOVE ;/

actually, i am not too worried...stocks generally held up much better than the index's point drops show. i bought BNI pretty near the bottom and the last hour's action was OK...it didn't gap down a couple of points on me. and i'm still feeling LONG...this is bullshit overselling...i just hope i have the balls to hold this position for longer than a day...but i doubt that :)

the only bad news is that i have to travel for work tomorrow and will be out of action from 10-11 atleast...peak hours. i really wanted to watch the opening tape...because, you know what we say, fuck gut feeling...the TAPE is GOD> or this may be GOD>'s way of telling me something......HELP !!!

i'm really starving for some low down, smoky, drinky, fun :p

i'm back

ok like (toss my black hair) i thought this blog was a waste to time, nobody reads it and i just blabber on and on anyways....it's not like i post any useful trading ideas or thoughts....or atleast i don't try to....haha....but then i got an email from these ad's people and they had 150 hits from my pages....so naturally i was impressed....my other blabbering sites rarely break 2-3 a day. so i decided to continue the good work and keep on posting.

as for the TRADING...i never STOPPPEDD.....and i've been kicking ass. i started out with 50K got decimated to 3k and have resurrected it from the ashes of November to 25 K. I KICK ASS, SEROUSLY>

basically, i have been shorting stocks, but a couple of longs in there also. the main thing that has changed about me is my willingness to cut loose my dogs. if a position runs against me i watch double intently and close it as soon as possible, even for a loss. before i would hold on hoping for dear hope it would come back. no more. just a few days ago, my MON long got crushed overnight...in the morning futures were down 100+ on the dow and i thought it would get crushed....and sold a few minutes into the open. i just didn't want to take the risk. better to lose 2K than lose 4K and frankly when i am well tuned into the market i can easily make 2K in a day. so i don't hold on to the dogs anymore.

today was a good day....i had gone long yesterday, because i felt everything was oversold and i bought right at the end of the day for seriously killer prices. even so i was stressed last night....the selling pressure is insane right now. i get to work, check the stat's....HOORAY....futures up big time....i calculate sell levels, decide to sell at the open, i was afraid of the fade, and thought if the fade ain't that bad, i can re-enter my long's.....i was bullish about the day.....so i get good sells at the open, 9:32 for X and 9:36 for BNI and i'm LIQUID....how's that for fast trading !

rest of the day i spent watching the market. i felt things overall would go long, but was so afraid of the afternoon drop, i ended up not buying anything. because my account is still under 25K, i only had one trade for the day.....otherwise you know how i play the chop....so i have to double think everything. i really wasn't feeling it, but like a bonehead i shorted 20 BNI at 56.75 at 1:19pm....jesus christ an afternoon trade....before 2pm....what an amateur trade. BNI went up $1 duck for the rest of the day and ended the day back at my entry price. actually, i really didn't like this trade at all and i am still feeling long inclined....i wanted to get rid of it, but also i didn't want to waste my day trade....near the close it was fluttering right around my buy level....i set it to sell for what i bought it for....it was very close, but nobody took my bait....WTF, i'll just hold it overnight, if i take a hit, i take a hit. fuck it.

i pray to the futures god's to be kind to me, and give me an intial drop or even better for some european bank to go belly up or some other kind of human misery to crush the stock markets.....wicked aren't i ;p