im in a world of shit

so i took 2 days off and i come back and the market is up huge and i look at BNI and MON (monsanto) and i see the good news, upgrade and stock buyback respectively, but they seem overbought and i short them. later in the day it also looks like RS (reliance steel) is running up way too much, so i short it also. i completely missed all the high's on WB (wachovia), which all happen in the first 15 min's of the day and sell it for a dismal .20 cent/share profit. argh! i had planned to hold it for 2 weeks, but lost confidence/nerve in just 2 days.
then i happen to watch "fast money" on tv, it's on at 5pm and it's very very good, and it finally crystalizes why the market is up so much. all the earnings are good, traders are happy, there's no recession...further bad news for me, ibm great earnings, even worse news, i didn't realize NUE and RS are reporting tomorrow and they are sure to be good earnings and my RS puts are gonna get blown out, probably along with all my other positions, because, all together now, THE Mudder Fudging Earnings are ALL GOOD !!!
i still think we are setting up for a downtown, but we may not get it till Friday or till next week. Oil is way too high...but it doesn't matter, if all my current positions get blown out, i.e. i could have bought the same things for cheaper.
Pray for me and now to get full blown shitfaced (actually i was planning to do that anyway).